markbottrell.com - stuff i like

Remember when we played hangman in that history class and I picked the word zucchini? Then you had guessed 24 letters, had _ucchini… and all that was left was B and Z and your next guess was B?

Discussing the merger.

Carter is not pleased with the discussion.

“Enough.”

Carter–

It has now been four days since you were born and you have been home for two days.

Your Mother and I have been competing in who can hold you more ever since you were born. She tends to win since she has the amazing ability to feed you. I on the other hand have the amazing ability to get peed on every time I change you. Needless to say, the only time you are not being held is when both of us are so tired we are afraid of falling asleep while you are in our arms.

Now that you are finally here I can’t help but think about our financial future, most notably paying for your college. Every time I read an article about the rising cost of tuition, I think back to the time I paid $10 at a dueling piano bar to hear the theme song to “Perfect Strangers”. And by the way, they didn’t even know how the song went. Do you think they gave back my money? Of course not!

Anyway, lets get back to you.

You are definitely an easy baby. You are either sleeping or staring, and only cry when you are hungry. You are constantly making faces and love to move your mouth around. When you do cry, it is so high pitched it almost sounds like a squeek. We can’t help but smile when we hear it.

Oh, and sorry about the circumcision! It’ll be healed in a couple more days.

Love,

Dad

Born at 8:53am, 7 pounds 6 ounces

Business idea: I will open a nationwide chain of quick lube places named, “We Will Only Change Your Oil & Not Ask You To Purchase $150 Worth Of Unnecessary Fluid Flushes & Air Filters Marked Up 500%”.

Seasonal beer drinkers who comment that the batch “this year” is better/worse.

If the number of doors I hold open for you is greater than 1 and distance between doors is under a 10 second walk then the number of “thank you”’s shall not exceed 1.

This makes me concerned only for the first three years we were together.